19th June - 8th July

This was the start of my first 5 day week. I had agreed with my boss that I would continue to build my hours up steadily and this week I would start to do 5 days a week, 6 hours a day. I also changed my shift pattern slightly so that when my team are on day shifts I do 10-4, when they are on late shifts I will do 12-6. With my team being on lates I would be doing 12-6 this week however Harry was still at the vet on Monday and Friday so I chose to do 10-4 these 2 days.

Monday went without a hitch, the car was due for MOT so Lel dropped it on the way to work and collected it on the way home, fully passed so good for selling!! Work was normal and at the vets they were very happy with Harry's nose which was good.

Tuesday was my first 12-6 and by 5 I was exhausted and ready for home. I kept going till about 5.30 when I packed down as my brain had for the first time, turned off properly and when people were asking me things, I wasn't even hearing words any more, just sound. Lel collected me at 6 and I went home and just sat. I was wiped out. It's funny what the extra 2 hours later at work does for me, I'm clearly so much better in the mornings and this is something I need to be aware of when I extend my hours, which way works best for me.. I definitely won't be able to work after 8 for a long time!! Sandra mentioned to me that it took her 3 years post chemo to feel normal again so figure that if I need my shifts changing then it can't be a problem and occupational health should be able to sort this for me.

Wednesday I felt a bit better and more able to work until 6, I'd had a nap before I went into work so could work through and was better able to concentrate on what I needed to do. I was fine again on Thursday and Friday worked a 10-4 as we had to go to the vets again for Harry. 

We had a quiet weekend in, the first one for a month given Otley show, 2 trips to get the camper van and then Swansea and we both needed the break.  We ordered a bench for the garden and a tree but other than that, I have no idea what we got up to!

Monday was a week of 10-4's, still with trips to the vets for Harry's bum, on Wednesday I went over to see Sue as I felt I hadn't had a session for some long time and I was a bit worried about my ongoing weight loss and my peripheral neuropathy. She is so good to build me up and remind me that I'm doing things right. She always reminds me of my 'good pot' that I put things in, even the most basic things can go in there, things that make me smile and laugh so when I have a slightly less good day then I don't feel too worn out. 

On Thursday we had a new system go live at work, this was a complete change with computer and phone systems changing and had been planned for and training had been going on for this since before I went off last year. It was a huge change to how we work and we had all been prepped to expect things to go wrong!! As it was, things went as smoothly as could be expected. 

Friday I was meant to be on on-line work however it always happens that you end up doing duty when the team managers are doing it as they always wander off on the phone, usually it wouldn't be a problem however when learning a new system this was a bit trickier and made me a bit frustrated. I was convinced the piece of work I had done would be sent back as it was submitted in a rush but seemed to be all ok. We were back over at the vets for our last of 2 checks per week, seeing them only once the following week for our final laser session

The bench had arrived during the week and I had tried to put it together and managed to get 2 huge blisters, Lel had take pity and bought a new ratchet screwdriver to make it quicker. Between us, me reading the instructions for the first time ever and them being wrong, we put it together the wrong way round. 

Saturday I had offered to go to the Manchester Museum with Oliver as Jayne was having her hair cut. It ended up with all of us going which was fine. We had a fantastic lunch at the cafe next to it then Oliver went to the loo and saw the dinosaur skeleton in the entrance hall. At that point he didn't want to go in as he was scared by it. I told him that Lel and I were going in, and soon after Jayne brought him through into the shop where the wonderful lady on the til told him that there were frogs and got him all interested in these. We headed up towards the vivarium then managed a look at everything else on the way back, as well as looping round to the space area and the T-rex skeleton. No wonder he was always so grumpy, his arms are too short to clean his teeth!! Well I found myself funny! Em was staying that night as she was at college and brought a curry from Sanskruti. We were both a bit full having had a piece of cake at 3.30 before leaving the museum cafe. The GF, VG chocolate cake was too much of a temptation for me to refuse!! And it was amazing, tasted just like dairy milk... I can never resist a Sanskruti curry though...

On Sunday morning, having re-done the bench, we went and bought some paint for it. I wanted bright, Lel wanted muted however, on one occasion having said to her that she usually gets her own way on decorating things, and this has clearly sunk in, she's very aware of it so repeated this back to me. We spent most of the day painting it giving it a good 2 coats of bright blue paint and allowing it time to dry. In the evening we put it outside, the grass was too wet to cut with the strimmer and our new lawnmower so I got the garden shears out and cut it. It was so much fun and I laughed at myself the whole time! Think Lel did too, mum talks about cutting a lawn with scissors, so glad I had shears. I was quite proud of the end result. We also planted the tree - a weeping Cherry Tree that had also arrived during the week.

I was back on 12-6's this week therefore was happy to have a nap in the morning on Monday before I went in to work. When I got in, the duty manager was very glad to see me, always nice when that happens and it was good to do a full shift and be useful. The systems were still causing problems and everything taking twice as long as before however I was getting my head round them and trying to correct any errors or send it back if it was significant, however I know how fraught people currently are and having work sent back doesn't help this, people are trying as hard as they can, and some find systems really tricky. I'm lucky, I don't, I'm happy with them and don't get stressed by it. Tuesday and Wednesday went relatively easily, I could feel I was getting tired so spoke to my boss and asked for Friday off. She's very aware that I have to look after myself and knows how hard I've worked this week and doesn't want me to get ill. By Thursday evening I knew I'd done the right thing as I was so tired and frustrated I nearly cried in front of a practitioner, time for a day off! We headed to the vets where Harry's chemo was prescribed to us, and the vet agreed we could start it as soon as we want. Lel and I want his bum to be totally healed therefore we will wait till next week when the wound has hopefully gone.. He has no idea there is anything wrong with him, he's so happy and full of life which is how we hope he'll stay.

So that takes me to yesterday when I cleaned, cut the grass, did the washing and had a lovely day relaxing and now to today, Lel is in Chester at a 100year celebration of her school with all her old school friends. I'm just doing this and washing today whilst having a disco via phone with Iona who is cleaning. I love days like this, they re-charge my batteries and put things in my good pot. 

12th June - 18th June

This was my last week of 4 days a week at work so I was making the most of it. My nausea had pretty much gone and on Monday night we were back over in Leeds to see Brendan for a decision regarding Harry's nose and whether we remove the lump. As he says, had we not had his recent history then we would have been happy to leave it but given his mast best tumour then the best thing we can do is get it taken off, we booked in for early Thursday morning to drop him off before work.

Tuesday and Wednesday went without incident at work and on Thursday morning at 6.30 mum and dad turned up to take us to the vets. I had realised that we had never left Jade alone all day and was worried how she would react so asked that they take her back to their house after we dropped Harry off and Lel and I would collect her on the way home having collected Harry. We dropped Harry in at 8.15 with the nurses as I had signed all the forms the last time we were there.

At 3 Hazel phoned to say that he had done really well and was out of surgery being cleaned up.  He had had a slight 'turn' but being Harry they had left a nurse with him constantly to ensure that he was ok and Catherine had sat with him all day after his op. We arrived at the vets at about 6.15 and mum and dad had brought Jade over so we didn't need to drive to Skipton as well, so very kind of them. We put Jade in the car and went in to get Harry. Catherine called us in for a chat telling us how he was, how his surgery had gone and described his funny turn - he'd gone all 'panting and stressed' and they'd worried due to his previous fainting episode. She went back through and took out his canulars and brought him through to us. The cut on his nose was tiny, Brendan had yet again done a fabulous job..  We were booked in for Monday to come back for his bum checking so this fit a post surgery nurse check up in perfectly. On getting him home he was whining quite a lot and it seemed he was still 'out of it' from the surgery so he had a quiet night with no evening walk!

In true style we had booked to head to see Iona on the following day (we had first been due to go the week he had his second surgery post tumour but he had been far too poorly at that point still) and decided that he would be well enough for us to go. Emma, bless her, worked from home for the day and came over to sit with them. He was quite whingy in the morning and I wasn't sure if it was still anaesthetic wearing off or whether he was still in pain. It could be a cumulation of 3 anaesthetics in 8 weeks although this one only lasted 20 minutes.

At around 9.30 mum and dad turned up, they'd left Polly at the end of the road as they didn't want to try and get her round the corners of the block. We piled in and started what should have been a 5 hour journey including breaks to get down to Swansea. Sadly traffic though otherwise and at 7.15 we pulled up outside Iona's house. It was amazing to finally meet someone that I'd been talking to for the past 6 months. We headed out with her dogs which are totally gorgeous and had a lovely walk in the woods, down to a pond and round the grounds of an old mansion. Once back to hers we had a chippy dinner which was the best way to end the day before Simon driving us back to the van site. Lel and I slept really well which surprised us both.

We were up and breakfasted by 8.30 and sat outside enjoying a drink. This really showed us why the camper is going to be brilliant. I want to call her Freda after Lel's mum but Lel isn't sure.. The American versions of the Bongo are called Freda's so it seems to fit to me but I'll respect her on this one.

At 9.30, Iona text to say they were on their way so we headed over the entrance to wait. She turned up bearing gifts of a plant and some seeds. We all piled into Poly and set off towards Camarthen to Llansteffan to wander in the castle and go on the beach estuary for a walk. We had a lovely walk then had chips on the sea front. They were so darned good, Lel and Iona had scampi and chips, I treated myself to onion rings and chips, dad had a burger and chips, mum had chips and peas. It was a lovely day where we just chilled out and enjoyed each other's company. We headed from there over to The Mumbles which Lel remembered from Jayne being at uni in Swansea. We had a walk to the lifeboat launch, left dad in the van to sleep whilst we went up the hill opposite to look over the bay. Whilst up there, the lifeboat towed a boat in. We must have missed the launch by minutes which was sad but it was good to watch from the hillside.

From here we headed back into Swansea and went for dinner at Zinco lounge where we all had a really good meal. Good atmosphere, good food, good friends. The perfect end to a very good day. I had sadly managed to sunburn my head though which felt a bit idiotic.. We had all gotten a bit pink but I felt a fool by burning my head. We dropped Iona off at her home and arranged to see her next morning before we left.

On the Sunday morning, we were all very aware that we had a long journey to get home however I was hoping we could call in again, given that we were so much closer than usual and it would be a while before we would get to catch up again in person. We had a drink and a doggy hug, as well as a hug from her as we left and set off back after a good chat, leaving round 11.30. We made it back up to Salford at 6.30, having had 2 stops so did much better. Poor mum and dad still had to drive an hour and a half to get home from here but we all had had a fabulous weekend. I hope Iona did as much as we did, it was brilliant and I can't wait till we catch up again.

5th June - 11th June

It was only a short week at work the following one with Wednesday being chemo. Monday and Tuesday went as normal and on Wednesday we headed over around 7.30 to Christies. I got my blood taken then waited and waited. My appointment was at 10.30 and by 11.00 we were still waiting. At 11.15 I spoke to one of the nurses that we see whenever we go and asked him how long we were likely to be, he told us we were next and shortly afterwards we were taken through, I was weighed (lost another 5kgs) and told that Dr Tran was away therefore we would see her registrar (again), I do like it when this happens as they are always lovely!

A lovely doctor came through and asked me how I was, saying that they were aware that I had had a reaction to the Procarbazine and that a decision had been made for me to come off it from this point on. I showed her the photos that we had taken and she said it was one of the worst cases that she had ever seen as a reaction and that I 'don't do things by halves!' I asked her what the difference would make regarding long term outcome without the Procarbazine and she was very honest saying that they couldn't tell me that but that they could say, if I continued on it, there was a high chance I wouldn't be breathing that evening. I agreed with her to go for the more pressing and definite of the concerns and to come off the Procarbazine.

I asked her to explain my last scan if she could as I didn't understand what we had been told - and she was really friendly so I felt we could. Her explanation was that the tumour looked a bit 'less bad' than the time before and like a burn when immediately done looks bright and vivid, a few days later it looks less bad. I still didn't fully understand but as she says, it's positive so that's the main thing.

We headed over to Maggie's and had a brew and sat around for a while, at 1.30 or so the ward phoned to say that they were ready for me and to go over. The nurse hooked me up with my canular to a flush and went to get my chemo. She had gone in a different vein this time and it went in so much easier. She soon came back soon after saying that someone had cancelled it all and it would take an hour to come through again therefore I had to have a bag of flush through. My vein was moving really quickly and after 10 mins the small flush was nearly empty. I called her back and she put a large bag on, saying that there would be plenty in it. By the time she came back with my chemo drip it was nearly empty! Clearly my veins were playing well, as opposed to the first time when it took double the time to get it through. They've obviously worked out what it's all about these days! We seemed to have missed lunch so I asked Lel if she would go to the canteen and get something. She came back with soup and a sandwich which was very well received and makes the time go faster. I always find it hard seeing people linked up to chemo eating chocolate biscuits and sweets, but the fact that these are recommended by the nurses also does my head in. I kind of get that they want you to keep your weight on however processed sugar?? Really??

On getting home we had a small dinner and I took my second chemo, then the nausea started. I was determined not to be sick this time so took all 3 sorts of my antiemetics as well as my homeopathic versions too. I was not going to be ill! It's only one tablet so how dare it make me feel like this? It is not going to win! I went to bed with a bowl just in case but slept through with no issues.

The following day the nausea continued, all day and by the time Lel came home to get the dogs to the vets I wasn't sure how I was going to make it in the car for the trip. I decided to put my big girl pants on, pull them up and get a grip of myself! I took a couple more antiemetics and put a bottle of water in the car and we headed over to Leeds. As Harry was in having his bum lasered and re-dressed Brendan popped out and invited us in for a chat, saying that we would hold the appointment for Thursday but make a decision on Monday as to whether we would do it or not.

On Friday the 9th I had an MRI at 2.30 so Lel had chosen to take the day off so we could have a nice gentle one together. I was quite relaxed about it but have a feeling that when it comes round the next chemo and results day then I may not be quite so much so. I've not been as good with my diet or exercise and I have been more stressed because of Harry so if all of those things do assist with healing then I've not had the best couple of months...

On Saturday morning, early we headed over to mum and dads as we were off to collect the camper and Elizabeth wanted us there as early as possible. We landed round 11 and did all the paperwork etc. We had sorted insurance the previous week and transferred the Volvo into dad's name so he could sell it for us, as well as him take it onto his multi-car insurance policy for little extra cost. After collecting the van we went into Thirsk, to the cafe and the lady came over and asked us if we'd bought her. It was so lovely of her to remember and whilst in there I bought a picture I'd seen the previous week for Iona as it felt right.  She had been part of my decision making to buy the camper and has been so supportive for the last 6 months that I wanted to get her something from that cafe.

On the way home we looked for a garage to top up the LPG and drove to Keighley to top up there. This took a while as it's been a long time since I last did it on the old work cars and remember it being very tricky at the time. I think we're going to get some gloves as the gas kicks back but at 49.9p per litre, a whole tank of 50L being less than £25 was lovely!

Having got her home, dad and I had a good look over her, topped the battery water up and other such things that we have always done on cars together. With getting a new car, I wondered if Isla would like us to collect her from her dad's house so suggested this, as well as getting chips from the veggie chippy in Ilkley! We scooped her on her way home with chips and her first comment was 'it smells funny' - we think that was the chips!! But she was very impressed with it. We were a little concerned as we couldn't get it to change into 4th gear and it seemed stuck in 3rd... Dad says there's a technique but we have still to learn it. Saturday night we slept in Polly - mum and dad's van, as Isla was staying there too, it was lovely and quiet and other than the bed being a bit lumpy we had a lovely sleep, woken by the birds as opposed to Harry's barking or whining for a change!! We all went out for lunch to the Castle, and I continued on my antiemetics. This time's chemo has really knocked me sick. I couldn't eat at all until Friday but Saturday and Sunday were a lot more like normal.

After lunch we set off back home to Salford in the car, leaving the camper - who we still have to name - on the drive for a valet, wheel arches de-rusting and lining, new radio fitting, new fog light fitting and general 'dad' work doing on her.

20th May - 4th June

So, it's been a long time since my last update and I've realised that I'm letting this lapse a little therefore it's going to be shorter from now (8th July) order for me to keep up to date easier.

The 20th of May was Otley show and was a fabulous day. The weather held off until just after lunch giving us time to wander round the livestock, see the shires, watch a bird of prey demonstration and 2 lads on motocross bikes doing the most ridiculous tricks. Basically, we had the sort of day that we would have done pre cancer and it was lovely.

Work the following week continued with no major incidents, I had finally got hold of the clinic regarding my colposcopy and went on the 24th to Salford Royal where we saw a lovely consultant who put me so at ease that the whole procedure went painlessly.

I had been thinking for a few days about getting a camper van and maybe selling the car. I had mentioned this to dad and he suggested a Mazda Bongo as they are small enough to park as a normal car and can be used on a daily basis without being too large to manoeuvre. I had therefore started looking as I am very aware that it would be lovely to clear off on a weekend after work with the dogs and a camper would make this so much easier..

Whilst searching for Bongos I had found one in Thirsk and rather cheekily asked mum and dad if they wouldn't mind looking in the first instance as if it was no good it was a long way for us to drive - on the 28th they headed over to have a look, and arranged for us to be going the following weekend saying that it was nice and clean with good price and good mileage.

Due to this, I decided that it was finally time to give Lel the garden that she has wanted for such a long time.  Being bank holiday weekend (27th - 28th May) then I figured it was a good time to do it as any. With not working on Friday 26th I thought I would make a start and dig out the gravel edging and some tree roots. It was about 24 degrees by 10am and having done about an hour and only managed a foot or so I was very grateful when Janice (our neighbour across the road) sent one of her sons to help with this. Both her twin boys are 35ish, gym bunnies and very tanned. Bless him, within an hour he had one whole side dug out and was on with the second one, then digging out tree roots, too and hurling them into the skip at high speed - all with no shirt on!!

On the Saturday, Lel was off over to spend the day with Jayne and Oliver in the afternoon so in the morning we headed over to Homebase to buy turf. We had had 2 tonnes of top soil delivered on Friday evening, as well as the skip that was delivered on the Thursday night however we now needed things to re-build the garden with. We already had some plants from pots from the previous year however Lel wanted grass and lavender in there, as well as a nice border between the grass and the floral borders so we did this then headed home. After Lel had gone I spent a bit of time out there clearing a bit further. Emma and Vicky had been away for the night but on their return they sledgehammered the flags up and threw them all into the skip. This meant that Lel and I could continue on Sunday morning and at 7am we were out digging the soil from under the flags, as well as going further round the edges and taking out more of the gravel edging. This was a real task as it was all chipped plate type gravel that had bound with the soil to form a concrete type edge.

By late afternoon we had it all cleared, edged the area where we wanted to put the lawn, rebuilt it with fresh top soil, topped up the border areas and planted them, then cut and laid the turf. By 5.30 on Sunday we had a front garden!! I couldn't believe how well we had done and how good it looked. I had had another weekend of doing jobs and wasn't too exhausted, and I had enjoyed myself. All small victories as well as showing people that I'm still me and can still do what I always could. We had a nice quiet bank holiday Monday in with the dogs and just relaxed.

Work was again uneventful for the week with the double trip to the vets for Harry's bum to be layered and re-dressed. Everyone is very impressed with him however he has a lump on his nose that may need to be taken off - had it not been for his tumour then we would have been more likely to leave it however given that he had his dressing off, nose in and ate the dressing both Lel and I are a little concerned that the tumour may have migrated.. We have therefore booked him in for surgery but will see Brendan before for a catch up to see what his thoughts are.

At the weekend we headed home again and went to look at a couple of campers. On the Saturday we saw a high top in Preston that would have felt like a coffin to sleep in the roof and was over budget by £2k but it gave us chance to drive one before going over to Thirsk. Had we not driven it with the handbrake on we might have done a little better!!!

On Sunday we headed over to Thirsk to try the camper, we got there 1130ish. Mum had explained that I am no longer allowed to drive but given the fact that this was a private sale and the lady had a lot of land, Elizabeth was happy for me to drive it. I turned her round and drove down the lane. Apparently at some speed!!! It was so lovely to be behind a wheel again. As with most Bongo's it's an automatic, 2l with LPG conversion which is really good. It looked quite clean with a good exterior, only a small amount of rust in one wheel arch and on the wiper blades. Both of which are able to be fixed. Lel had a drive and we both agreed that it was really nice. We headed to Thirsk to a cafe for lunch and the lovely lady in there gave me a photo frame for free, I didn't tell her my story but think she saw my scar. We did tell her that we had just tried a camper out and that we would be back the following week to collect it.. I was a bit nervous but remember feeling like this when we bought Kara and that was fabulous for a long time.