8th May - 19th May

We had arranged when Harry was discharged to have him checked up and further laser treatment on Monday the 8th after work. Lel had agreed to work an 8-4 so that we could head straight over after work. I had left the dogs with Harry just wearing his usual attire, the curtains closed and the fan on as it was due to be warm during the day. Work was fine, I'm feeling good these days and finding the 6 hours ok at present. (I'm on 4 days, 6 hours a day until the 18th of June - to review then) Lel came to collect me at 4 and as I got in the car she said that Harry had eaten his dressings. I didn't fully understand what she meant but we had had to improvise with the dressings the previous day as we didn't have a large dressing so had stuck 2 smaller ones together as well as sticking one on above to cover the sore bit (Brendan had taken a biopsy from this area to check that it was just from the tape, not another tumour site) and Harry had taken a shine to the honey, bitten through his t-shirt and eaten 2 of the dressings leaving one attached only. Lel managed to get the wound re-covered fully and taped on but there was no sign of the dressings!!! The nurses took Harry through and cleaned him up and re-did his laser again. They were quite happy with what they saw and we were booked in for the Friday to see Brendan for full cystology result.

On Tuesday morning as we went downstairs to let the dogs out, I was taking off Harry's 'romper suit' and Lel walked into the room and said 'what's that?' It appeared that Harry had brought back up the dressings thank god. Having seen the size of them I'm so glad he did as had he passed them the other way I think it would have blocked him up or caused major problems. He did later prove on the walk that it was him who had eaten them..... As I dressed him that day I put a thick pair of tracksuit bottoms on that dad had given me along with the 'lampshade'. I was hopeful that this might discourage him from trying to get to his honey and let me work without being quite so worried. I headed off to oxygen as usual for an hour then on to work. I finished work and got home round half 4 and was very relieved that he had coped for the day although I would imagine he had been rather warm.. Julie was over in the evening as usual to help with the dressings which was very helpful as the better he feels, the less he stands still!!

Wednesday and Thursday passed without incident. I was feeling heaps better having been off my chemo for a week. All side effects had cleared and I was totally back to normal now. On the Thursday I was trying to get hold of my doctors to try and find put what was going on with my colposcopy as I still hadn't had an appointment through and I had been told it was on the 15th.. The doctors were brilliant and phoned the hospital before getting back to me to tell me that an appointment had been made and I would receive it by the 17th of May. On Thursday when I got home Harry had managed to get his head round the lampshade and chewed the edge of his romper and a small hole in his tracksuit bottoms. He clearly was desperate to get to the honey.. I improvised and cut an old 'lampshade collar' up, attaching it to edge of the collar we were leaving him in, giving it an extra 3 inches length to stop his nose poking out of it and being able to shove into his pants. He hates me but it works and I feel much more confident about leaving him now.

On the 12th we were due back at the vets at 6.30. Brendan went through the results with us and they took Harry off for his dressings and laser whilst he talked through what had come back. These were as positive as possible. The sore bit was simply because he had had strapping put over it, the tumour was the least likely to metastasise elsewhere although he said he couldn't give us guarantees (which, as we said to him, more than most we fully understand). It also has the gene that would mean it is most likely to respond to the chemo that he suggested therefore he had contacted the manufacturers to ask when to start it. As he says, you want to start as soon as possible but there is a large wound that needs to be healed first. Brendan was very honest and said that by giving Harry the chemo, it may almost be off label as there is a chance that all the tumour has been removed however, since it is impossible to tell when it gets to cell level then we would prefer him to have it for 6 months as hopefully that will be all he needs. I had previously asked Brendan if he would give it to his dog and he said he would therefore I am comfortable that it shouldn't cause Harry too many problems and we can support him with homeopathy to help him through the next bit. As we took his pants down for his evening walk we found a flea on his bum. I had treated Jade the previous week and hoped Harry wouldn't get got but...

On the morning of the 13th, we asked Vicky if she would come over at 10 so we could pop out for a bit. We headed out shopping and for some food and normality. It was lovely again and we are ever so grateful for the support of our lovely friends and neighbours. We got back round 2.30 and were so happy to have been into the real world.

On the 14th we had very little plans other than to de-flea the house and dogs and to rest. We started round 11.30 and had finished by 2. We chilled out for the rest of the day and had a nice relax as it has felt relentless for a bit, early mornings and twice a week to Leeds for the vets. They are too good to change and find someone nearer but it's a bloody long way to go. Lel however is amazing with the driving now thank god. We would have struggled had she not sorted her motorway confidence out.

We were back at the vets at 6.40 on Monday night for more laser and a re-dress. Everyone was really impressed with how he has got on. Catherine and a nurse I didn't know were doing the re-dress, as I went to the loo I saw Billie by the desk on the phone who, having seen me went straight up to see how he was getting on, also Laura (one of the vets) went in to see him and have a hug as she didn't have a client in! It's so lovely that he is so loved and cared for there. We booked the next 3 appointments through so we know the times and who we're with which feels more organised and helps me.

Tuesday the 16th was oxygen and duty at work when I got in. We were nice and busy but it felt ok still and I managed happily. I wasn't stressed about how he was going to be when I got home with the extra large 'lampshade' on as I know he can't get in to it.

Wednesday 17th - no letter regarding colposcopy, no dressings that had been ordered on Saturday and were due.

Thursday 18th - phoned the doctors who phoned the hospital and sorted my appointment for a colposcopy on the 24th of May at 10am. I'm so glad that it's finally sorted out as I hate having other things hanging over my head especially as I have read there can be a link between HPV and tumours elsewhere. I really had hoped that my cervix would have behaved this time! Still no dressings, have to use melolin and got Vicky to come over and help as he is so full of it at present.

Friday 19th, this is where we are up to date now. As usual, I've had the day off and done the washing, cleaning and have sorted Harry's bag for the vets for tonight. His dressings arrived today which was good as we had to improvise last night which I wasn't happy with. We've decided to head home for the weekend and to go to Otley Show tomorrow for a nice relax. We've both realised that we have to do things together that aren't dog or cancer related at all as it has become very hard over the past month and too stressful for both of us. Harry's bag is packed for the weekend too with all his dressings in and a change of clothes!!

My next chemo is the 7th of June with my MRI on the 9th of June so got a line up of appointments. In the mean time, we're at the vets twice a week next week and we'll see next Friday whether they think we can drop down to once a week or whether we have to stay at twice for laser.. He is healing really well but still has a long way to go. I'm much more relaxed now about him as I know he's going to be fine and I can start to focus on me again. I've not been on the re-bounder since this started as it's hard to walk them both in the morning when he's so giddy, I've hardly used the sauna which is really important for my vitamin D levels so again, I need to start using this and prioritising me again. Next week looks like an easy one, but we've all heard that before. I'll update on Friday the 26th!!

3rd May - 7th May

On the morning of the 3rd of May my rash had gone down so I continued on my piriton, took my chemo and headed into work for the shift. It was the only day I would be working in the week due to being at the vets on both Thursday and Friday with Harry so I covered duty for the day. It was feeling quite nice to be out of the house and doing something 'normal' for the day as well as working and doing what I know I can do. My brain is back up to speed and I find duty cover very similar to how I used to pre-diagnosis, surgery and treatment. Julie came back up again to help with Harry's dressings and agreed that now it had been cleaned up it was looking better. We explained that he was planning re-constructive surgery which she agreed should help. By this stage Harry was wearing his dressings, tena pants, a long sleeved t-shirt with the arms cut short and the pet medical suit.

After dinner we took the dogs out as usual and just before bed Lel told me that my lips looked funny. I was aware that I had had an itch by the outer corner of both eyes however I wasn't too worried by this. As we went to bed, I looked at my lips and they were starting look very puffy and swollen. Having had anaphylactic reactions in the past I knew that I could still breath fine so wasn't too concerned at this time. I continued to take the piriton as advised and we went to bed.

On Thursday the 4th of May as we got up, I can only describe my lips as looking like Lesley Ash's lips post surgery!! I also had a massive rash on my torso from above my lips all the way round my back with the only area not covered being directly over my abs. It didn't hurt but it was very odd looking and clearly not healthy. I was very glad that I wasn't going to work as I looked shocking. I phoned the chemo line who advised me not to take my dose until they had spoken with a registrar and called me back. At around 9 the nurse called back and told me not to take the dose, to take them with me to my next appointment and to take some more piriton if needed. She said that if it was an emergency to go to A&E but other than that, speak to the doctors but that they would discuss further use of procarbazine at my next chemo session..

Dad came over again round 9.30 and we took Harry and Jade over to the vets. Brendan was encouraged by how Harry's bum was healing and after a laser treatment and re-dress he said he would be happy to operate the following day.

On the 5th of May, dad was back over early doors to take us over to the vets. We took both Jade and Harry again as mum was staying at home with Toby. Due to his surgery we didn't give them breakfast and left Harry there at 9.30. Brendan reckoned that he would be out of surgery by round 2 or so and to call after that. At 3 I still hadn't heard so phoned and spoke to one of the nurses who said that it had gone well and Harry was in recovery coming round well. I asked whether we would be ok to come over as soon as Lel finished work which they said was fine. I asked whether Vicky would mind coming to sit with Jade so that we could have the whole back seat for Harry given that he would be likely to be a bit dopey still. She landed round half 4 so we headed over there to collect him.

Brendan saw us for the discharge and said he was happy with how the surgery had gone. He showed Lel pictures of what they had done and she was really impressed. He said that they were still waiting on the full histology results but it appeared that they had got all the tumour out and they were just waiting now to see if he had the right gene to allow the chemo to work.

As we got Harry home, we took his pants off and took him out for a walk to get him to do a wee as Hazel had been concerned that he hadn't done one since surgery. We took him for a gentle walk around the block, he did a poo and a wee. As we got him back into the house and started to dress him, his eyes glazed over and his legs gave way and he collapsed on us both. Having been told that he fainted after doing a week after his first surgery I wasn't took bothered as it seems to be his party trick! He's a softie!! We dressed him and carried him into the lounge and lay him on his bed. He was out for the count for the rest of the evening.

We had arranged for Emma and Vicky to come over on the Saturday to give us a day out. We both needed a cancer free day to relax as with Harry now having had his tumour and my latest flare up we both felt we wanted some peace and quiet away from it all. At 8.30 Emma came over and we headed up to Windermere for the day. We headed over to the far side of the lake and for a wander on the shore line to relax before heading back over to Bowness for some lunch and to buy a pressie for Emma and Vicky.

We got back around 5 as we had arranged for Julie to come up to help us with the dressings change. She was so impressed with the job that Brendan had done which really reassured me as I still couldn't look at it.

On Sunday the 7th, Emma popped over for a couple of hours so we could do a bit of shopping and not have to worry about Harry as he was starting to look like he wanted to get into his dressings. As well as the dressings he was having high grade manuka honey on it which he appeared to have a taste for... The consensus is that he needs his name changing to Winnie (the Pooh)!!

30th April - 2nd May

On the way home Lel told me that Ruth had been very negative, had cut off a lot of dead skin and that she did not give any possible positives about how his wound could possibly heal.

I have been told from the beginning that I need to avoid as much stress as possible however it would seem that Harry doesn't seem to want to comply with this. For the first time I was having bad problems on a daily basis with nausea and was taking antiemetics 3 times a day before each meal.

As we got back neither of us were overly hungry so we had a quiet night.

On the morning of the Sunday the 30th we were up early as usual so as to stop Harry getting too excited. Being a bank holiday weekend we just decided to stay at home given that the rest of the world were bound to be going out and about for the weekend. We kept both dogs quiet for the weekend, much to Jade's disgust. Julie was at work so I asked Helen whether she would be able to pop over and give us a hand with Harry for the afternoon re-dress. She came over and wasn't shocked with what she saw but sadly, when he had had all the tape stuck on the previous day, they had taped over a really nice clean dry bit of stitching that had healed. This then looked a bit wet and sore when we got the tape off which was frustrating. He was very good but it clearly hurt him as they had used very sticky tape.

Lel and Helen redressed it whilst I posted cheese triangles into the front end and kept him still. Helen didn't seem too phased by it all and said she had seen far worse wounds heal which was very reassuring.

Monday the 1st we stayed in again apart from a brief foray to the shops for the weekly food. Vicky came over to sit with him as leaving him in Tena pants only would have been a bit risky. In the evenings we were putting him in his pants as well as a t-shirt in between another pair of pants to try and stop him getting to the wound. He was also wearing a 'lampshade' cone to try and put him off having a chew of it overnight. Helen came over again to help with the re-dress and was quite happy with how it was looking even though it was clearly a very large wound.

On Tuesday the 2nd I took annual leave to get Harry back to the vets, dad came over and took me to oxygen, leaving mum at home with the dogs. We headed back home afterwards and collected Harry alone to take him to the vets again. We got through there in plenty of time and popped in for the bathroom, I asked that Charlotte call us when they were ready for us so we waited in the car. At around 1.35 we were called and headed in. Brendan was waiting for us in reception and took us through to the nurses room where Harry was taken off into the back for a re-dress and laser treatment.

As Brendan came back through to talk to us, I explained how Lel had felt after speaking with Ruth and asked if we could book an appointment as the weekend so she could see him and talk through her anxieties with him. He wasn't working the weekend but offered to call that evening and speak with her. He explained that he was hoping he would be able to operate on Friday if the wound had granulated enough and bring some of the skin over to reduce the size of the wound. Brendan seemed very positive that he could work with the wound and that we would be fully able to have his bum healed in time. He stated that it wasn't going to happen fast but that he has healed larger wounds in the past and he didn't see any reason why this wouldn't work also. I asked if they had the pet medical suit that they had ordered initially as it might make him feel more secure with his dressings and might make me feel easier about leaving him...

We headed home having booked a further appointment on Friday in case he would be healed enough for surgery. We still had the appointment on Thursday that we had booked so we had chance for Brendan to check how it was and hopefully make the ok for further reparative surgery.

Having got home I had a phone call from my boss telling me that I had to go onto a change of contract and go to flexible working as apparently the longest any phased return can be is 6 weeks and I have had significantly longer than this. She explained it badly saying that it would be that I would be paid when I was in which almost indicated that I would be on a zero hours contract which is clearly not what I signed up for..

That evening whilst sat at home I felt that I had a midge bite coming up on my hand. I was surprised as I didn't think that I had been bitten by anything. I also felt that my legs were a bit itchy, I looked at my legs and they were covered in a rash which felt and looked like midge bites all over my hips, knees, legs and all the way down them. I decided to phone the Chemo line as whilst I know it is a possible side effect, all the literature said to phone for advice if this happened. I was on hold for ages so we decided to take the dogs out for a walk and whilst out they answered the phone. They advised me to take piriton - fortunately I had loads of this having been provided with a bottle when Harry's tumour flared up and to call back in the morning if it hadn't gone down or if it had got any worse. The nurse said that she would speak to a doctor and get back to me. As we got back my phone rang, Lel accidentally cancelled it and it was Brendan.. We rang the surgery back but obviously with the time of night, it was closed. We were putting the dogs to bed when her phone rang, Brendan had called mum and dad to get her number and called back in order to speak to her. I love my vet so much!!!

He spent about 15 minutes on the phone to her explaining what his plans were for Harry's reconstruction and telling her that he can mend this and, unlike how Ruth was implying, Harry will heal and is not going to be put to sleep over this.  She felt so much more relaxed after the phone call which was good for me but I know that I had been stressed and far more tense than is good for me. On going to bed my legs, hips and arms were covered with a rash that looked like midge bites and itched like mad. I took a piriton as advised and my regular evening medication and waited for the nurse to call back. Around 10pm she phoned, little did I know that she had phoned mum and dads first, not quite sure why as I had told her to phone back on my mobile - poor mum must have wondered what on earth was going on that evening. First Brendan then the chemo nurse!!

The nurse advised again to use piriton and if it was no better or worse in the morning not to take my next dose.

27th April - 29th April

On Thursday the 27th we were due back at the vets today so dad came to collect me and both dogs. We were due there round 11.00 and arrived early as normal. I popped in to use the loo and as I cam out Brendan had finished with his last client and spoke to me. As I got back to the car, Brendan and Hazel came out and asked if we wanted to go in early. We lifted him out of the car and walked him in. He was at this point wearing dressings and a pair of ladies 'Tena' type pants to keep all the dressings in, and his nose out of it! They suggested that we take a wander and get a coffee as it was going to be a fair while before he was ready as he was having laser treatment as well as a full re-dress. We popped next door and got a subway before walking over to Sainsbury's and getting a few bits. We headed back to the vets and I sat chatting to Billie (nurse) whilst dad went to sleep and Brendan and Hazel finished off with Harry. When they finished, Brendan called us back in and I asked about Harry's left which was still swollen. He said that he was happy that it would settle and was just swelling from the surgery. He put a lighter dressing on Harry's wound saying that we could now start to change it on alternate days as it was looking very good. We got home in decent time and I spent the rest of the day keeping an eye on him so that he didn't do anything too exciting!!

On the Friday it was quite nice as we didn't have to change his dressings, this gave us chance to relax a little more and just have a quiet day. Brendan had suggested that we massage Harry's leg to try and get the swelling to go down, however it seemed to be going down of it's own accord by this point.

On Saturday the 29th at around 2pm Julie came up to re-dress it. As she took the dressing off, her reaction of 'oh shit' was rather worrying. I couldn't look at it but both her and Lel had a look also. Lel took a photo and we emailed it straight to the vets. Julie suggested that we go straight over to the vets as it appeared that the stitches had split further and some of the skin graft had not taken and was dying.

We bundled both dogs into the car and headed off to the vets. The afternoon surgery didn't open until 3pm and as I was phoning it wasn't going through to reception. At half past 2 as we were well on the way I managed to get through to Hazel who was on reception. I told her that we were on our way over and may have sounded a bit panicky and told her that we had emailed the picture through. She opened it up and agreed that we were doing the right thing in going through but not to panic and they would have someone see us as soon as we got there.

We arrived at the vets soon after 3 and were put straight into one of the rooms, Hazel popped in to have a look at it and agreed that he needed the vet and she couldn't do anything until the vet came through. Ruth came in to have a look at him, I stayed in for a few minutes but was struggling with chemo nausea and told her this. She suggested that I leave the room so went to wait in reception for a while leaving Lel in there with one of the nurses. Charlotte opened the email and the picture of Harry's wound popped up there. I struggled not to throw up, it was a real mess. After around an hour Charlotte, one of the nurses popped in to see how they were getting on. By this stage he was fully dressed and his wound covered with lots of dressings and tape. They checked that we had enough meds for him for the week, Ruth decided that she wanted us to have another appointment with Brendan on the Tuesday (bank holiday weekend again) in addition to the appointment we had on the Thursday, we paid and left.

24th April - 26th April

With Harry only having been released from the vets on the Sunday and in such a bad way, they suggested that it would be a good idea if I could have the week off to be at home with him to make sure that he was ok. This meant that I was sat in constantly looking at him and making sure that he didn't get too excited. His leg remained swollen and I sent a couple of pictures over to the vets as I was a little concerned about it. On Monday night we had to change his dressing which I stayed well away from. Lel bless her got an eyeful of it but our lovely neighbour Emma came to help. I posted cheese in the front end which kept him quiet nicely.

On Tuesday I was still at home for the whole day, in the evening we were both at the hygienist which as always was a total delight. I was happy to pop out for half an hour and leave him however we asked our neighbours to pop over and sit for an hour which they were lovely and happy to do. As we put him out his dressing has come off and I panicked, I knew that we had 2 neighbours on the street who are either nurses or ambulance techs so shot out into the street as Julie, the ambulance tech was arriving home. As we changed his dressings with her help there was a large gap where he had split his stitches through wagging too much but we were hopeful that it was starting to heal a little.

Wednesday was Chemo day and Vicky came over to work from home (our house) for the day. We set off round 7.30 as usual and got to Christies just after 8 am. I took my ticket for the blood room and sat and waited.. and waited.. and waited.. The blood room is normally really quick however we waited best part of 45 minutes to get through then sat for a few minutes to see Dr T. My appointment was 9.30 and at 9.20 we were taken through to her room to wait for her. I was really surprised as she is usually late so it was nice to be seen on time for a change. She came in and asked how I was, how I had been coping and whether I had had any side effects from it. I told her about forgetting to take my antiemetics and what had happened and that the only main issue I had had was the peripheral neuropathy which seemed very minimal given what I was taking. My bloods still hadn't come through so she suggested that we head over to the Maggie's centre and they would call us when they were back. I left my phone number with one of the nurses and we headed over there. It was the 1st birthday of Maggie's so there were lots more people around than usual. We went into the garden room and sat to relax in peace and quiet for a bit before heading into the main part of Maggie's. We had only been sat for around half an hour when people moved to the window looking excited. I was thinking it would be someone for the birthday but then word went round that Christies was on fire. I would just like a nice quiet treatment day where everything runs on time and to plan.. Really don't think that is too much to ask is it??!! We looked out and saw a black wall of smoke coming up from the direction of the hospital. Around half 11 we headed out for a walk to see if there was anywhere that we could buy a sandwich, the shop only had chicken tikka type things which clearly was no use at all to either of us. With nothing there and the shocking smell and taste of smoke in the air we headed back to Maggie's for a while. Iona posted a link to Facebook from Manchester Evening News and in it it said that treatments were still going on as planned.

I phoned Oak Road Treatment Centre to see if my bloods were back through yet, they weren't sure but suggested that I head over and they would see what they could do. We went towards the hospital and were told we couldn't get to the treatment centre so we negotiated a route to get us in there. I again asked whether my bloods were through and one of the volunteers said she would try and find out. I decided we would head through to Ward 42 where I see Dr T to see if they were back. As we got into main reception I looked at my phone to see a missed call from a with-held number and swore as I knew it would be someone calling me about my bloods. We saw one of the nurses I had given my number to earlier and asked if my bloods were back, he confirmed that they had just come through and there had been a slight delay due to the fire but that they were all fine so we could head through for treatment.

We went upstairs from treatment and I asked for the heat pack to raise a good vein. This was provided and I sat with it on for a while. The nurse came back and tried a vein to the left of my usual one, it hit a valve. The pain from it was ridiculous and I had to ask for her to stop. The nurse went back in to the vein that we have used the previous twice and it wasn't happy any more but still took the canular. I was squeezing Lel's hand and was trying not to break her knuckles!! The nurse put the flush through and whilst we were sat there with the vincristine running through a member of staff came round offering soup and sandwiches. I said yes to both and had a lovely mug of tomato and red pepper soup and an egg mayo sandwich which we shared. The second flush went through as did my antiemetic and by 3pm we were done and all my meds handed over to me for the next 10 days. We went home and Vicky and Jade were sat together on the floor, Harry was curled up on a bed quietly and by the sounds of it, they had all had a lovely day together. Julie from 2 doors down who is an Emergency Medical Technician came up to help with the dressings again as I couldn't do it and it felt good to have someone medically trained being able to help us!

That evening I decided to split my chemo doses, to take the antiemetic then take the lombustine, to take another antiemetic then take my procarbazine then have a small dinner. I took another antiemetic then we headed to bed. All good and a good sleep with no issues unlike last time!! Seems I have this nailed. Amazing how you can learn from vomiting blood how not to do it again! As dad said, do it once, it's a mistake - do it twice, you're a fool!!