August 15th - August 22nd

‘Tram tracks saved my life’

On the 15th of August on 2016 whilst on my way to work on my bike I got my front wheel caught in a tram track, fell off and hit my head on the road. I was, fortunately wearing a helmet and the front inch or so if this was scraped off and left on the road - along with about 6 inches of my right forearm which I not so cleverly tried to use as a brake! This was extremely painful. I ended up with about a dozen or so very large bruises on my legs however for the first hour or so felt almost no pain! Once the adrenaline had worn off, the gravel burn became very painful, as did my bruises and my boss very kindly sent me home for the evening to get a hot bath and hope that things would go down. I had called Lel when I got to work and asked if she could come and collect me at my meal break, bless her, she must have been petrified what she would find. My poor bike was battered, the front wheel had twisted round 180 degrees, the gears had snapped off and she had more scrapes than I had bruises! Lel came to collect me and I was very grateful to get home.

The following day, around 10am I started for feel quite tired and a bit nauseous so messaged Lel and asked her to call me if I hadn’t text her in a couple of hours.  As it was, within this time I had vomited twice and phoned 111 to see what their thoughts were regarding getting checked for concussion. The operator, due to my slightly sore neck (I thought that this was mild whiplash) panicked and decided that I had meningitis therefore decided they were going to send an urgent ambulance - she called it a red ambulance, I commented that I thought most ambulances were green however this went straight over her head!! I requested that they got the ambulance service to phone me which they did. I had a good chat with the ambulance service man who agreed with me that it was likely to be mild whiplash and mild concussion and I should present at A&E at some point during the day. I called Lel who returned home and took me straight down to A&E. Whilst waiting for her to park the car I vomited for a 3rd time and continued to feel decidedly unwell.

During triage I explained to the nurse that I felt no worse than just mild concussion but that I had attended as the ambulance service had suggested this. Following triage I was seen by a lovely Dr. - Amy by name who sat and chatted to me for a while then, took me through for a CT scan as I had vomited 3 times. Had it been twice, they would not have scanned me. I  went through for the CT scan totally convinced that they would find nothing wrong as I only felt very slightly nauseous which to me was only mild concussion.

Lel and I returned to the room in A&E and waited, and waited, and after about 2 hours when a nurse came to check my statistics, I asked how long this usually took. I was told that it was about an hour or so and they would be back with my results soon. Around 10 minutes later Dr. Amy returned and asked me who Lel was, relative, friend etc. She then said that we may want to hold hands - I can’t even remember what was going through my head at the time but Lel visibly collapsed in the chair at the side of me. Amy then said that they had found a dark patch, a lesion on the CT scan and they did not know what it was but that it shouldn’t be there (no shit sherlock). At this point, I just held Lel and told her that I wasn't going anywhere, that I wouldn’t leave her and that we would be ok. Amy also said that they wanted to keep me in hospital overnight and get me on medication as soon as possible to shrink any inflammation. I realised that I had to call mum and dad who were away on holiday as there was no way that Lel could continue to take care of their dog and our 2 alone whilst I was in hospital.  I remember walking around the A&E room, trying to explain to mum ‘OK so everyone is fine, Toby is fine but I’ve had a bike accident, I’ve not broken my arm or anything but I had a bit of concussion, they’ve done a brain scan and found a lesion on my right frontal lobe we need you to head back home as Lel can’t cope with all 3 dogs by herself’ or something along those lines. That’s a phone call I never imagined I would have to have with them!! I remember Lel phoning Jayne but have no idea what she said. At this point we were just waiting for a bed to be found to get me up onto the ward and admitted fully. For the next 3 hours we were either sat in the room or walking round the hospital grounds. 

Around 8pm I was admitted onto ward B8 where I was given a full day’s dosage of steroids! Upon walking onto the ward, there was private room opposite the door with a lady in who had a significant scar and lots of stitches. I became very frightened that this was what was going to happen to me and when the staff asked me my name, I couldn’t speak. I was given bed 15 in the further area of the ward away from the nurses station. The ward staff were amazing and allowed Lel to come and go, bringing me things until around 10 when she left for the night, visiting finished at 8pm. They could not have been better with me or kinder. As I was admitted so late, the staff allowed Lel back early next day so she would be around for the Drs rounds. 

It was on this Thursday that we met Dr Alex Leggate, the man who would be my neurosurgeon a couple of weeks later. He saw me on rounds and advised that they wanted me to have an MRI scan and a chest x-ray that day. I was worried that I would need sedation as I didn’t know if I would cope with the possible claustrophobia of the MRI. The nurses found me a slot at 11am and Lel and I went down for this together. I had earplugs and an eye mask and between this and her holding my hand, I got through it. The ward staff were amazing, the nurses were very kind however the lady in the bed next to mine had been in hospital for 9 weeks due to issues with her head healing. She had staples in her head and lots of areas of skin that did not look at all healthy. There were a lot of people on the ward who seemed to have been there for a long time. I was hoping that I wouldn’t be in for anywhere near as long as they were and just wanted to go back home. I had a no headache, just a very sore arm from my gravel rash and a feeling of sickness - the staff wrote on my notes that they were giving me paracetamol for a headache due to my tumour, and anti sickness tablets for the same reason - in fact the painkillers were for my arm and the anti sickness because I was feeling sick with fear from my diagnosis! Following my first scan, Lel and I went out for a wander around the hospital in the fresh air and sunshine. We were 10 minutes out of the ward and received a phone call saying that they wanted me to have another scan as the results from the first were not clear. They wanted me back at the ward for 2pm. Visiting started at 2 and mum and dad were planning on heading down as they had come straight to our house on the way back from their holiday and stayed overnight with us. I suggested that they meet us at the cafe when we were done. We went back for the MRI around 3pm and met Dr Alex just before we went in. The issue with the initial scan was that it was not showing where the mass generated - whether in the brain or from the lining of the brain. The hope was that it was from the lining of the brain as apparently this was less of a concern. He also told us that there were various areas of calcification that indicated that the tumour was older and unlikely to be fast growing, all things in my favour long term. The second MRI was shorter than the first and over quickly with the help of Lel holding my hand again. Seeing mum and dad was difficult, I didn’t want them to see me upset - I don’t really remember much about how they were or how I was. 

Back up on the ward, I was told that Mr George - a consultant who would be involved in my future care planning had been to see my whilst Lel and I were still walking. I was a little irritated as they had my phone number and could have called us however I was glad that I had M&S dinner as opposed to what the hospital provided for me! Having not spoken to any doctors that evening, I asked the ward staff if Lel could come early again the next day and they kindly agreed. One of the nurses also said that Lel could bring my own pillows in so I could get a better nights’ sleep. New pillow and pillow cases were soon brought by her and I had a much better sleep.

The following morning, with Lel by my side, Alex came back round and told us, as gently as he could, that the mass was generating inside my brain as opposed to the lining of my skull. This was not the news that either of us had hoped for and we were both very upset by it. When Alex had first told us, there had been a large number of students with him and we didn’t really know what to say (other than cry). Having seen me, he spoke with a lady across the ward from me and as he was leaving we asked him to come back to speak with us. He came over and asked his colleagues to leave so we could speak with him. I do not remember exactly what was said but his kindness and empathy at this time was very appreciated. He felt very solid and safe and made us both feel that we were in capable hands. He understood that I did not feel ill and that I wanted to go home and said he would come and see me towards the end of the day to see what he could do. He was initially suggesting I stay in for over a week in order to keep my bed so it would still be there when I had my surgery however I tried to convince him that I was as well as I had been the previous week, that I would not do anything silly and that I would be back the minute they contacted me. This seemed to work as by the end of the day I had (very slowly) been discharged with a very large bag of medication and a long list of instructions including things that I was not allowed to do, including scuba diving or bungie jumping!! He also told me that I would not be able to drive for at least a year. 

On returning home I read my discharge papers and for the first time, the lesion which had been referred to as a mass by everyone so far was being called a tumour. This was a real shock as no one had named it as this towards us. I did however want to go into work for the week as I felt I needed to stay sane! I spoke with my boss and arranged for me to go in to work for 4 hours every day so as to stay sane. Apart from being scared I felt just the same as I ever had, I had no symptoms and never had had any. Lel and I tried to have a ‘normal’ weekend, as someone later said to me ‘this is your new normal’ however there were quite a lot of tears. Monday morning I went to work, and as agreed with Denise, I worked from the front office, dealing with a couple of bits of paperwork that I wanted to sort before I went off and helping with other clerical. This continued throughout the week with me getting lifts in and home at the end of my 4 hrs. On Monday the 22nd I had a call from the secretary of my consultant advising me that my case would be discussed at the MDT the following day and they wanted to see me the following day to discuss what was going to happen next.